Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big; like the Louvre or Disneyworld; you really can’t see it all in one day…

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My dick is so big, it bought Microsoft from petty cash.

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My dick is so big it lacks the agility to dodge the spinning propeller blades; it bears the wounds from encounters with several careless boaters.

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my Dick is So big it cums sperm whales

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My dick is so big, that I look like its dick in front of it!

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My dick is so big, it has its own telethon.

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My dick is so big, students will need a calculator with scientific notation.

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My dick is so big…. I can use it for a speedbump in my parking lot!

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My dick’s so big, it can sit in the front row at Sea World and Shamu doesn’t dare splash it.

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My dick is so big,it takes 1 ½ miles to make a 90 degree turn.

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My dick is so big, novice divers should be reminded to pressure-equalize their ears several times on the way down.

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My dick is so big, I’ve had to resort to hiring out-of-state hookers.

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My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.

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My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

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My dick is so big Alan Greenspan uses it to raise interest rates.

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My dick is so big, for prom night I rented the Oscar Meyer Wiener Wagon instead of a limo.

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My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.

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My dick has fiber optics.

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My dick is so big it has its own national anthem.

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My dick is so big, I left it at home.

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My dick runs the 440 in 15 seconds

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My dick is so big, its got OnStar.

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My dick is so big, that it can think of far more big dick jokes than I can.

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My dick is so big NASA still hasn’t fully mapped its surface.

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My dick is so big, it seats six.

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My dick is so big it gives me an allowance.

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My dick is so big, it may’ve already been assimilated by the Borg.

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My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph.

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My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.

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My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.

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My dick is so big, you can get lost on it and wander for days.

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My dick is so big, it has casters.

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My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

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My dick is so big, it’s right behind you.

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My dick is so big, the Patriots acquired it to play football-next year, it’ll be the entire front line.

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My dick is slated to host the 2016 Summer Olympics.

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My dick is so big, penthouse guests have reported there’s a noticeable sway on windy days.

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My dick is a better dresser than I am.

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My dick is so big that European pranksters show up every night; stomping around all over it making fake crop circles.

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My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.

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