Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.

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My dick is so big the Coast Guard recently installed a 10 million candlepower searchlight at the tip.

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My dick is so long, it enters a room five seconds before I do.

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My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.

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My dick is so big, it’s against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.

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My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.

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My dick is so big, they had to use bolt cutters for my vasectomy.

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My dick is so big it needs those specially fitted orthopedic shoes.

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My dick is so big it’s paved.

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My dick and Las Vegas, NV create the exact same size carbon footprint.

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My dick is so big when we go deer hunting I don’t need a treestand, also it can smell the deer coming from over 500 yards away, no matter which direction the wind is blowing!

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My dick is so big its considered a load-bearing member.

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My dick is so big, even Evel Knievel couldn’t jump it on his Rocketbike.

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My dick runs the 440 in 15 seconds

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My dick is so big, that when it’s Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it’s Central Mountain Time at my balls.

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My dick is so big, it could feed Ethiopia for a month.

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My dick has fiber optics.

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My dick is so big.. that when I got circumsized I got a 6 piece luggage set.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, Jack Nicholson asked for its autograph.

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My dick is so big it made a fortune in real estate before it was 30.

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My dick is so big it gives me an allowance.

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My dick is so big, it was recently declared a Wilderness Preserve dedicated to the re-introduction of my dick into the wild.

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My dick is so big, Magellan only sailed halfway around it.

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My dick is so big it has a crosswalk.

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My dick is so big, I can braid it.

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My dick is so big the Titanic ran into it and sank.

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My dick is so big, visitors are delighted with its scenic beauty as well as the deluxe accomodations, snack bar and pro-shop.

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My dick is so big, my urologist has to rent a forklift for my annual prostate exam.

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My dick is so big, I have to pay property taxes on it.

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My dick is so big, Osama bin Laden hid under it for six months.

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My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick is so big the sperm bank opened a branch office just for it.

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My dick has hosted Saturday Night Live-TWICE!

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My dick is so big you can see your house from it.

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My dick is so big, I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate.

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My dick is so big it beat up the class bully in high school.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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