Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, that right now it’s in the other room fixing us drinks.

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My dick is so big it has Yosemite Sam mudflaps.

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My dick is so big, it needs an airplane warning light.

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My dick blows out the candles no matter who’s birthday it is.

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My dick is so big its become aloof; maintaining just a nodding acquintance with my balls, and won’t even speak to my asshole anymore.

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My dick is so big, they won’t let it ride ANY of the ‘coasters at Six Flags.

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My dick is so big, it thinks the Grand Canyon is a virgin.

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My dick is recommended by four out of five dentists, AND their patients who chew my dick.

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My dick is so big, lots of people think we’re brothers.

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My dick is so big, it is a source of employment.

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My dick is so big, it lives next door.

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My dick is so big you can ski down it.

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My dick is so big, you can get lost on it and wander for days.

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My dick is so big that there’re currently a bunch of biologists filming a documentary on its untamed inhabitants.

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My dick is so big, my first orgasm caused the Big Bang.

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My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.

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My dick is so big, I left it at home.

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My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie.

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My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.

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My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.

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My dick is so big it stood up to the IRS, and won!

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My dick is so big you can see your house from it.

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My dick is so big, it spoils every single Christmas; waking up early and opening ALL the presents under the tree.

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My dick is so big, Jack Nicholson asked for its autograph.

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My dick takes longer lunches than I do.

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My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.

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My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wanted to use it as a water ride at Neverland ranch

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My dick is so big, it’s impossible to see all of it without a satellite.

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My dick is so big, that it can think of far more big dick jokes than I can.

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My dick is so big, it was recently declared a Wilderness Preserve dedicated to the re-introduction of my dick into the wild.

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My dick is so big, it has a basement.

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My dick is so big it has its own zip code.

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My dick is so big it shows up on radar.

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NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick.

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My dick is so big it affects the tides.

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My dick requires backcountry permits for all overnight hikes.

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My dick is so big it has a restaurant on the top floor.

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My dick is so big it could’ve fed the entire Donner Party-for two winters!

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My dick is so big, it has its own seat in Congress.

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My dick is so big, it don’t have veins, it has pipes.

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