Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, the DMV is requiring me to obtain a Class B license.

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My dick is recommended by four out of five dentists, AND their patients who chew my dick.

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My dick is so big, no matter where I go, my dick always gets there first.

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My dick is so big, it’s in a boy band with four other big dicks.

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My dick is so big, it has its own moon.

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My dick can look directly into a second-story window. Flat-footed.

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My dick is so long, it has an intermission. Half way through it, people sit back, smoke a cigarette and talk about the first half.

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My dick is so big, black holes fall into it.

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My dick can be used as a flotation device in the highly unlikely event of a water landing.

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My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.

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My dick is so big it’s listed on the New York Stock Exchange.

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My dick is so big, when I get hard my eyebrows get pulled down to my neck.

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My dick is so big I gotta use binoculars to just to make sure that ain’t no man down there sucking it.

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My dick is so big, if you climbed to the tip, you could see your house from there.

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My dick is so big, students will need a calculator with scientific notation.

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My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.

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My dick is so big, it has feet.

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My dick is so big, it has a spine.

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My dick is so big it charges more for graduation speeches than I do.

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My dick is so big, we use it at parties as a limbo pole.

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My dick is so big, it killed its ex-wife and got away with it scott free.

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My dick is so big it’s decided on a career in Law.

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My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.

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My dick is so big, compasses do not function properly around it.

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My dick is so big that there’re currently a bunch of biologists filming a documentary on its untamed inhabitants.

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My dick is so big; if it was a Pilgrim, it would’ve come to America on the Nina, the Pinta AND the Santa Maria.

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NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my dick.

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My dick is so big, lots of people think we’re brothers.

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My dick is so big, you can get lost on it and wander for days.

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The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars.

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My dick is so big, FedEx won’t insure it.

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My dick is so big it’s paved.

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My Dick is so big it has a restictor plate

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My dick is so big, it has its own wing at the Louvre.

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My dick is so big,it takes 1 ½ miles to make a 90 degree turn.

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My dick has an elevator and a lobby.

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My dick is so big, rising fuel costs have forced it to cancel its summer travel plans.

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My dick is so big, it’s ri-dick-ulous.

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My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.

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My dick is so big its become aloof; maintaining just a nodding acquintance with my balls, and won’t even speak to my asshole anymore.

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