Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

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My dick is so big it lacks the agility to dodge the spinning propeller blades; it bears the wounds from encounters with several careless boaters.

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My dick is so big it was mistakenly claimed for Spain by de Portola in 1629.

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My dick is so big, penthouse guests have reported there’s a noticeable sway on windy days.

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My dick is so big, it takes large prey items that may require weeks to move through its digestive tract.

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My dick is so big it shows up on radar.

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My dick is so big it’s already fucking my future girlfriend’s younger and hotter sister!

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My dick is so big that there’re currently a bunch of biologists filming a documentary on its untamed inhabitants.

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My dick is so big it affects the Earth’s magnetic field.

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My dick is so big, even Evel Knievel couldn’t jump it on his Rocketbike.

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My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.

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My dick is so big, it pilots its own Gulfstream Jet.

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My dick is so big I gotta use binoculars to just to make sure that ain’t no man down there sucking it.

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My dick is so big it charges more for graduation speeches than I do.

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My dick is so big, as soon as its won the superbowl; its ALREADY AT Disneyland!

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My dick is so big, Jack Nicholson asked for its autograph.

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My dick is so big, it don’t have veins, it has pipes.

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My dick once blacked-out the entire Western US electrical grid, just using the blow dryer.

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My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.

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My dick is so big, the Pope has blessed it.

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My dick is so big, novice divers should be reminded to pressure-equalize their ears several times on the way down.

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My dick is so big, certain parts of it sell alcohol; certain parts of it don’t.

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My dick is so big, the DMV is requiring me to obtain a Class B license.

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My dick needs to double its springtime weight; packing on fat in order to survive the long winter ahead.

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My dick is so big, at first I thought it was using steroids to bulk up, but then I saw my dick’s dick and IT WAS HUGE, TOO!

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My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.

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My dick was once set on fire for a Dino DiLaurentis movie.

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My dick is so big, when it rains the head of my dick doesn’t get wet.

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My dick is so big, my home address is 1257 My Dick.

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My dick is so big, it’s a government scapegoat.

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My dick is so big, it’s ri-dick-ulous.

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My dick is so big it needs those specially fitted orthopedic shoes.

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My dick is so big it doesn’t ship to AK or HI.

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My dick’s so big, it can sit in the front row at Sea World and Shamu doesn’t dare splash it.

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My dick is so big, you can ski down it.

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My dick is so big you can see your house from it.

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My dick can be used as a flotation device in the highly unlikely event of a water landing.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, it thinks the Grand Canyon is a virgin.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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