Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big I have to buy it its own airline seat.

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My dick is so big, I left it at home.

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My dick is so big, Hurricane Katrina gave me a blowjob.

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My dick is so big it made a fortune in real estate before it was 30.

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My dick is so big I can only fly on cargo planes.

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My dick is so big, it dunked on LaBron AND Shaq (but Nike confiscated the film ’cause it had on size 18 Reeboks)

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My dick is so big that if it were a boat, there’d be no such thing as adequate scope for safe anchoring.

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My dick is so big, I run three-legged races by myself.

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My dick is more muscular than I am.

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My dick is so big they’ve had to divide up the compass with, North, South, East, West and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, it beeps when I back up.

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My dick is so big, I use the Eiffel Tower as a French tickler.

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My dick is so big it periodically sheds its skin. Got enough last month to make a pair of motorcycle boots, three wallets and this belt.

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My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.

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My Dick is so big it has a restictor plate

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My dick is so big it could’ve fed the entire Donner Party-for two winters!

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My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.

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My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.

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My dick is so big, it won’t return Spielberg’s calls.

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My dick is so big, I can shoot for the Moon.

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My dick is so big, it has an elbow.

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My dick is so big NASA still hasn’t fully mapped its surface.

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My dick is so big, they named the invasion of Normandy after it. (usually just known as D day)

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My dick is so big it needs those specially fitted orthopedic shoes.

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My dick is so big, compasses do not function properly around it.

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My dick is so big it gets up 45 minutes before I do in the morning to take it’s shit!

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My dick is so big the Titanic ran into it and sank.

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My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.

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My dick is so big, it’s not just famous, it’s IN famous.

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My dick is so big, it’s wanted in nine states, and Canada.

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My dick is so big, it thinks the Grand Canyon is a virgin.

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My dick is so big, visitors at the zoo buy bags of peanuts to stuff up it.

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My dick is so big it subconsciously ducks its head just a little bit every time I walk thru a doorway.

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My dick is so big Alan Greenspan uses it to raise interest rates.

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My dick can be used as a flotation device in the highly unlikely event of a water landing.

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My dick is so big, it has investors.

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My dick is so big, Austrailian Aboriginals revere it as their ‘New Uluru’.

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My dick is so big; if it was a Pilgrim, it would’ve come to America on the Nina, the Pinta AND the Santa Maria.

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My dick is so big, it has an opening act.

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My dick is so big, you can get lost on it and wander for days.

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