Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big the Coast Guard recently installed a 10 million candlepower searchlight at the tip.

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My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.

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My dick is so big, when I get aroused, the Earth develops an elliptical orbit.

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My dick is so big, I can change channels without the remote.

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My dick is so big, you’re standing on it.

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My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.

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My dick has hosted Saturday Night Live-TWICE!

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My dick is so big, it is a source of employment.

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My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

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My dick is so big that Hannibal tried to ride it across the Himalayas.

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My dick is so big, it has an elbow.

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My dick is so big, it wants a car when it turns 16.

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My dick is so big, it has a horizon.

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My dick is so big that there’re currently a bunch of biologists filming a documentary on its untamed inhabitants.

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My dick is so big it’s paved.

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My dick is so big it has its own two-party system. All the candidates suck.

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My dick once blacked-out the entire Western US electrical grid, just using the blow dryer.

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My dick is so big, it was recently declared a Wilderness Preserve dedicated to the re-introduction of my dick into the wild.

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My dick is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.

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My dick is so big, it pilots its own Gulfstream Jet.

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My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.

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My dick’s so big, it’ll be presenting a fireworks extravaganza after the show.

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My dick runs the 440 in 15 seconds

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My dick is so big, it’s known as Doctor Pecker.

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My dick is so big, it will stubbornly drive around for hours-TOTALLY LOST-and never once stop to ask for directions.

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My dick blows out the candles no matter who’s birthday it is.

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My dick is so big, it’s against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

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my dick is so big king kong got scared

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My dick is so big, I left it at home.

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My dick is so big, it beeps when I back up.

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My dick is so big that once I got it stuck in my zipper and didn’t even scream till I finally felt it two days later.

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My dick is so big, it’s carved on Mt. Rushmore next to Lincoln.

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My dick is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.

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My dick is so big, they won’t let it ride ANY of the ‘coasters at Six Flags.

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My dick is so big, I run three-legged races by myself.

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My dick is so big, it spoils every single Christmas; waking up early and opening ALL the presents under the tree.

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My dick is so big that we’re all a part of it, and it’s all a part of us.

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My dick is so big, Columbus discovered it and thought it was India.

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My dick is so big it affects the tides.

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