Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Hurricane Katrina gave me a blowjob.

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My dick is so big, they won’t let it ride ANY of the ‘coasters at Six Flags.

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My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.

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My dick is so big it subconsciously ducks its head just a little bit every time I walk thru a doorway.

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My dick is so big, it pilots its own Gulfstream Jet.

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My dick is so big, students will need a calculator with scientific notation.

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My dick is so big, Osama bin Laden hid under it for six months.

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My dick is so big it beat up the class bully in high school.

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My dick is so big, it beeps when I back up.

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My dick never has to audition for the part.

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My dick is so big, when I fall down, I fuck everyone in China.

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My dick is so big it shows up on radar.

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My dick is so big, it has a retractable dome.

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My dick is so big, it’s on Google Maps, and they had to move satellites into higher orbit to photograph it.

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My dick is so big its become aloof; maintaining just a nodding acquintance with my balls, and won’t even speak to my asshole anymore.

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My dick is so big it has to downshift on steep grades.

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My dick is so big.. that when I got circumsized I got a 6 piece luggage set.

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My dick is so big, it’s known as Doctor Pecker.

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My dick is so big you can see your house from it.

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My dick is so big, it has PDiddy on speed dial.

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My dick is so big it gives me an allowance.

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My dick is so big, when I get aroused, the Earth develops an elliptical orbit.

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My dick is so big it was mistakenly claimed for Spain by de Portola in 1629.

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My dick is so big, it’s not just famous, it’s IN famous.

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My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

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My dick is so big, it’s gone condo.

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My dick is so big, they refuse to put me in prison.

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My dick is so big, it has its own seat in Congress.

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My dick is so big, it can chew gum.

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My dick and Las Vegas, NV create the exact same size carbon footprint.

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My dick is so big, it’s carved on Mt. Rushmore next to Lincoln.

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My dick is so big it lacks the agility to dodge the spinning propeller blades; it bears the wounds from encounters with several careless boaters.

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My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.

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The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars.

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My dick is so big, I have to set up orange traffic cones when I take a piss outside.

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My dick is a better dresser than I am.

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My dick is so big, it may’ve already been assimilated by the Borg.

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My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks ME off.

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My dick has better credit than I do.

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My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick’s people will call your people. Let’s have lunch with my dick.

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