Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.

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My dick is so big, I’ve had to resort to hiring out-of-state hookers.

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My dick is so big, my wife uses it for a body pillow.

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My dick is so big, it has feet.

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My dick is so big, Jack Nicholson asked for its autograph.

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My dick is so big, that when I fly, it has to take the train.

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My dick is so big, it’s carved on Mt. Rushmore next to Lincoln.

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My dick is so big its become aloof; maintaining just a nodding acquintance with my balls, and won’t even speak to my asshole anymore.

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My dick is so big, Trump owns it.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick is so big, it was recently declared a Wilderness Preserve dedicated to the re-introduction of my dick into the wild.

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My dick is so big, it’s a government scapegoat.

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My dick is so big, it posts big dick jokes.

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My dick is so big, if Hillary beats it in the primaries, she’ll likely win the Presidency.

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My dick’s so big, it’ll be presenting a fireworks extravaganza after the show.

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My dick is so big, it’s known as Doctor Pecker.

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My dick is so big, it has a horizon.

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My dick is so big it’s listed on the New York Stock Exchange.

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My dick is so big, it might attract an IRS tax audit.

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My dick is so big, I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate.

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My dick is so big, it will stubbornly drive around for hours-TOTALLY LOST-and never once stop to ask for directions.

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My dick is so big that i had to buy a big jacked up pickup truck just to carry my ego….

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My dick is so big, I left it at home.

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My dick is so big my grandmother knits it sweaters.

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My dick is so big I can only fly on cargo planes.

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My dick is so big it has a crosswalk.

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My dick is so big, it’s impossible to see all of it without a satellite.

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My dick can look directly into a second-story window. Flat-footed.

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My dick is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.

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My dick is so big it changed its name to an unpronounceable symbol formerly known as Dick.

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My dick is so big I have to establish a base camp before sex.

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My dick is so big it’s already fucking my future girlfriend’s younger and hotter sister!

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My dick is so big, it has its own concierge. He runs errands for it and announces the arrival of guests.

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My dick is so big, there’s still snow on it in the summertime.

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My dick is so big it was mistakenly claimed for Spain by de Portola in 1629.

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My dick is so big, it’s against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.

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My dick is so big, visitors are delighted with its scenic beauty as well as the deluxe accomodations, snack bar and pro-shop.

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My dick is so big, it has stairs up the center like the Statue of Liberty.

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My dick is so big, you can ski down it.

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My dick is so big the Coast Guard recently installed a 10 million candlepower searchlight at the tip.

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