Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, if I didn’t sleep on my side, planes would crash into it at night.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Las Vegas casinos fly it into town for free.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, it was a Varsity starter in all three sports since Freshman year!

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My dick is so big it periodically sheds its skin. Got enough last month to make a pair of motorcycle boots, three wallets and this belt.

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My dick is so big, it takes two days and a good packmule to get up to the tip.

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My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

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My dick is so big it doesn’t need a resume, a nice suit or a firm handshake to get the job.

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My dick is so big, it’s ri-dick-ulous.

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My dick is so big, I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate.

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My dick is so big that just keeping it painted is an unending chore.

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My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.

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My dick is so big, you can ski down it.

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My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.

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My dick is so big, it thinks the Grand Canyon is a virgin.

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My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

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My dick is so big, I have to set up orange traffic cones when I take a piss outside.

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My dick is so big, the Pope has blessed it.

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My dick is so big.. that when I got circumsized I got a 6 piece luggage set.

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My dick is so big the Eskimos have over 40 unique words that mean ‘my dick’.

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My dick is so big it can’t take the Panama Canal, but must sail all the way around the tip of South America.

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My dick is so big, it might attract an IRS tax audit.

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My dick’s so big, it can sit in the front row at Sea World and Shamu doesn’t dare splash it.

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My dick is so big, Steve Irwin once lasso’d it with a top-jaw rope.

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My dick is so big it has Yosemite Sam mudflaps.

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My dick is so big, I have to bus in day laborers just to fidgit with my balls.

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My dick is so big, it charges money for its autograph.

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My dick is so big, I use a hula hoop as a cock ring.

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My dick is so big NASA still hasn’t fully mapped its surface.

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My dick is so big it becomes a flotation device.

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My dick is so big you’d better just get the Cliff’s Notes version.

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My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, my first orgasm caused the Big Bang.

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My dick is so big, it lives next door.

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My dick is so big, it’s not just famous, it’s IN famous.

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My dick is so big, the Patriots acquired it to play football-next year, it’ll be the entire front line.

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My dick is so big it stood up to the IRS, and won!

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My dick has an elevator and a lobby.

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My dick is so big it charges more for graduation speeches than I do.

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My dick is so big it has a crosswalk.

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My dick is so big you can see your house from it.

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My dick is so big, it dunked on LaBron AND Shaq (but Nike confiscated the film ’cause it had on size 18 Reeboks)

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