Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

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My dick is so big, it has its own gravity

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My dick is so big it affects the tides.

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My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

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My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks me off.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Jimmy Hoffa is still hiding below it.

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My dick is so big that just keeping it painted is an unending chore.

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My dick is so big, its only natural that it would experience its fair share of cattle mutilations and ghost ships.

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My dick is so big it has a four-lane bowling alley.

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My dick needs to double its springtime weight; packing on fat in order to survive the long winter ahead.

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My dick’s so big; in the playground, it could either teeter OR totter-but never reallly teeter-totter.

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My dick is so big, I can braid it.

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my dick is so big king kong got scared

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My dick is so big, its a Weapon of Ass Destruction.

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My dick is so big it shows up on radar.

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My dick is so big there’s a bumper sticker on back warning motorists not to drive in it’s blind spot.

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My dick is so big, the city was going to build a statue of it but they ran out of cement.

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My dick is so big, it may’ve already been assimilated by the Borg.

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My dick is so big Alan Greenspan uses it to raise interest rates.

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My dick is so big; like the Louvre or Disneyworld; you really can’t see it all in one day…

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My dick is so big, I have to bus in day laborers just to fidgit with my balls.

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My dick is so big that Hannibal tried to ride it across the Himalayas.

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My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.

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My dick is so big it needs those specially fitted orthopedic shoes.

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My dick is so big, it has its own gravity

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My dick is so big, it has an opening act.

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My dick is so big I have an overpass in my pants.

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My dick is so big, that when it’s Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it’s Central Mountain Time at my balls.

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My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.

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My dick is so big, it has its own seat in Congress.

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My dick is so big my grandmother knits it sweaters.

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My dick can be used as a flotation device in the highly unlikely event of a water landing.

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My dick is so big, the city had to carve a hole in the middle of it so cars could get through.

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My dick is so big, it has it’s own time zone – central dick time.

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My dick is so big you can ski down it.

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My dick is so big, the Carnegie Deli named a sandwich after it. Actually, two sandwiches.

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My dick requires backcountry permits for all overnight hikes.

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My dick is so big, I’m it’s bitch.

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My dick is so big, Osama bin Laden hid under it for six months.

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My dick is so big the sperm bank opened a branch office just for it.

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My dick is so big, that I look like its dick in front of it!

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My dick takes longer lunches than I do.

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My dick is so big that i had to buy a big jacked up pickup truck just to carry my ego….

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My dick is so big it causes eclipses.

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My dick is so big, it only comes into work when it feels like it.

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