

(
+22 rating,
68 votes)

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.


(
+3 rating,
15 votes)

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.


(
+3 rating,
7 votes)

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My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.


(
+3 rating,
7 votes)

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.


(
+3 rating,
5 votes)

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My dick is so big, my bed is equipped with airbags.


(
+2 rating,
2 votes)

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.


(
+2 rating,
2 votes)

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My dick is so big, I can shoot for the Moon.


(
+1 rating,
7 votes)

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My dick is so big, I have to bus in day laborers just to fidgit with my balls.


(
+1 rating,
3 votes)

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My dick is so big, it seats six.


(
+1 rating,
3 votes)

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My dick is so big, I’m already banging my next girlfriend’s best friend.
Random selection of big dick jokes


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big it gets up 45 minutes before I do in the morning to take it’s shit!


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big it has cable.


(
+1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big that once I got it stuck in my zipper and didn’t even scream till I finally felt it two days later.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick takes longer lunches than I do.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick can be used as a flotation device in the highly unlikely event of a water landing.


(
-1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big, it votes.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big it has a crosswalk.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it’s a government scapegoat.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it pilots its own Gulfstream Jet.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big that its flight is impossible without the aid of rising thermal updrafts.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, I have to pay property taxes on it.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it has its own Wheaties box.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it has PDiddy on speed dial.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, if you climbed to the tip, you could see your house from there.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big there’s a bumper sticker on back warning motorists not to drive in it’s blind spot.


(
-1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick has fiber optics.


(
-1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big it gives me an allowance.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wanted to use it as a water ride at Neverland ranch


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it’s in a boy band with four other big dicks.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it lives next door.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it can chew gum.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, they refuse to put me in prison.


(
+1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big that if I accidentally trip over it, it takes 2-3 days just to hit the ground.


(
-1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big, it has a stunt double.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big that Verizon’s leasing space at the tip for a cellphone tower.


(
+1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big it’s paved.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, airplanes tried to shoot it off the Empire State Building.


(
-1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big, visitors at the zoo buy bags of peanuts to stuff up it.


(No Ratings Yet)

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The inside of my dick contains billions and billions of stars.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it was recently declared a Wilderness Preserve dedicated to the re-introduction of my dick into the wild.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big its own gravity’ll soon capture the Moon.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, you’re standing on it.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big, it has investors.


(
-1 rating,
1 votes)

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My dick is so big, I run three-legged races by myself.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big it has its own zip code.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big it could’ve fed the entire Donner Party-for two winters!


(
0 rating,
2 votes)

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My dick is so big, there was a band called Earth, Wind and My Dick.


(No Ratings Yet)

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My dick is so big there’s an observatory on it.