Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

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My dick is so big, it has its own gravity

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My dick is so big it affects the tides.

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My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

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My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks me off.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick’s so big, it can sit in the front row at Sea World and Shamu doesn’t dare splash it.

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My dick is so big, Jimmy Hoffa is still hiding below it.

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My dick is so big that i had to buy a big jacked up pickup truck just to carry my ego….

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My dick is so big it affects the tides.

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My dick is so big…. I can use it for a speedbump in my parking lot!

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My dick has better credit than I do.

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My dick is so big the Eskimos have over 40 unique words that mean ‘my dick’.

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My dick is so big it doesn’t need a resume, a nice suit or a firm handshake to get the job.

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My dick’s so big, it’ll be presenting a fireworks extravaganza after the show.

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My dick is so big, it’s part of the government bailout plan.

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My dick was almost drafted by the Cleveland Browns, but Art Modell didn’t want a bigger dick than he was on the team.

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My dick is so big it has to downshift on steep grades.

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My dick is so big, when I get aroused, the Earth develops an elliptical orbit.

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My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

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My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president.

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My dick is so big, it’s ri-dick-ulous.

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My dick is so big, you can get lost on it and wander for days.

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My dick is so big you can see your house from it.

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My dick is so big, my urologist has to rent a forklift for my annual prostate exam.

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My dick is so big that from the tip, everybody down there looks like teeny-tiny little ants.

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My dick is so big, airplanes tried to shoot it off the Empire State Building.

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My dick is so big, students will need a calculator with scientific notation.

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My dick is so big, the Patriots acquired it to play football-next year, it’ll be the entire front line.

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My dick is so big it has a tollbooth at both ends.

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My dick is so big, it has its own moon.

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My dick is so big that if it were a boat, there’d be no such thing as adequate scope for safe anchoring.

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My dick’s so big; in the playground, it could either teeter OR totter-but never reallly teeter-totter.

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My dick is so big, it was a Varsity starter in all three sports since Freshman year!

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My dick is so big it lacks the agility to dodge the spinning propeller blades; it bears the wounds from encounters with several careless boaters.

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My dick is so big it doesn’t ship to AK or HI.

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My dick is so big, I’m already fucking a girl tomorrow.

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My dick is so big, it has a horizon.

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My dick is so big, my wife uses it for a body pillow.

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My dick is so big, they refuse to put me in prison.

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My dick is so big that its conjoined twin was born with just a head and one tiny, misshapen hand.

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My dick is so big, Hurricane Katrina gave me a blowjob.

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My dick is so big its considered a load-bearing member.

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My dick is so big, it’s a government scapegoat.

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My dick and Las Vegas, NV create the exact same size carbon footprint.

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My dick is so big, it posts big dick jokes.

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