Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

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My dick is so big, it has its own gravity

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My dick is so big it affects the tides.

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My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

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My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks me off.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick has hosted Saturday Night Live-TWICE!

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My dick is so big, they refuse to put me in prison.

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My dick is so big, I can never sit in the front row.

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My dick is so big I have to take it through a car wash.

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My dick is so big, it seats six.

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My dick is so big, novice divers should be reminded to pressure-equalize their ears several times on the way down.

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My dick is so big, I went to The Viper Room and my dick got right in. I had to stand and argue with the doorman.

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My dick is so big, it has a spine.

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My dick is so big, it posts big dick jokes.

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My dick is so big, it’s in a boy band with four other big dicks.

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My dick is so big I have to buy it its own airline seat.

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My dick is so big, it pilots its own Gulfstream Jet.

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

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My dick is so big, Steve Irwin once lasso’d it with a top-jaw rope.

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My dick is so big, it’s right behind you.

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My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wants to build an amusement park on it.

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My dick is so big, it is a source of employment.

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My dick is so big, it has an opening act.

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My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.

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My dick is so big, black holes fall into it.

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My dick is so big, it plays golf with the president.

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My dick has an old rusty harpoon stuck in it.

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My dick never has to audition for the part.

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My dick is so big, that when it’s Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it’s Central Mountain Time at my balls.

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My dick is so big, it spoils every single Christmas; waking up early and opening ALL the presents under the tree.

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My dick is so big, Osama bin Laden tried to fly a 747 into it.

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My dick is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn’t so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.

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My dick is so big, even Evel Knievel couldn’t jump it on his Rocketbike.

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My dick is so big, it has a fifty-yard line.

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My dick is so big I have an overpass in my pants.

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My dick is so big, it may’ve already been assimilated by the Borg.

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My dick is so big that its flight is impossible without the aid of rising thermal updrafts.

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My dick is so big NASA still hasn’t fully mapped its surface.

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My dick is so big, I can change channels without the remote.

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My dick is so big, it has a personal trainer.

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My dick is so big it’s paved.

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My dick is so big, I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate.

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My dick is so big, if you cut my dick in two, you can tell how old I am.

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My dick is so big, Rolling Stone calls it The Fifth Beatle.

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My dick is so big, lots of people think we’re brothers.

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