Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick is so big, my bed is equipped with airbags.

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My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

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My dick is so big, I can shoot for the Moon.

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My dick is so big, I have to bus in day laborers just to fidgit with my balls.

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My dick is so big, it seats six.

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My dick is so big, I’m already banging my next girlfriend’s best friend.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big it periodically sheds its skin. Got enough last month to make a pair of motorcycle boots, three wallets and this belt.

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My dick is so big that my urologist is quadruplets.

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My dick requires backcountry permits for all overnight hikes.

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My dick is so big, it has a horizon.

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My dick is so big, even Evel Knievel couldn’t jump it on his Rocketbike.

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My dick is so big it changed its name to an unpronounceable symbol formerly known as Dick.

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My dick is so big, it may’ve already been assimilated by the Borg.

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My dick is so big, I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate.

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My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.

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My dick is so big, the Pope has blessed it.

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My dick is so big, if Hillary beats it in the primaries, she’ll likely win the Presidency.

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My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

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My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks ME off.

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My dick is so big, it has a three-picture deal.

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My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

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My dick is so big, its got OnStar.

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My dick is so big it costs a fortune to heat.

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My dick is so big, my mother was in labor for three extra days.

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My dick is so big, my parents had to get a building permit to have me circumcised.

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My dick is so big, they refuse to put me in prison.

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My dick is so big there’s a bumper sticker on back warning motorists not to drive in it’s blind spot.

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My dick is so big, Al Gore invented it

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My dick is so big there are isolated tribes living on remote areas of it.

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My dick is so big, scientists think it killed off the dinosaurs.

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My dick is so big it beat up the class bully in high school.

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My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

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My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.

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My dick is so big, when I was in a porno, they had to release it on a 4 disc DVD box set.

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My dick is so big, FedEx won’t insure it.

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My dick is so big that there’re currently a bunch of biologists filming a documentary on its untamed inhabitants.

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My dick is so big, sometimes it jerks me off.

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My dick is so big, visitors at the zoo buy bags of peanuts to stuff up it.

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My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.

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My dick is so big, airplanes tried to shoot it off the Empire State Building.

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My dick is so big it has a gift shop. People buy bumper stickers that say they visited My Dick.

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My dick is so big it makes a Porsche want to buy a Ferrari.

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My dick’s so big; in the playground, it could either teeter OR totter-but never reallly teeter-totter.

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My dick is so big it has a four-lane bowling alley.

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My dick is so big I can only fly on cargo planes.

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My dick is so big that European pranksters show up every night; stomping around all over it making fake crop circles.

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