Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

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My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

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My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

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My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

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My dick is so big, it has its own gravity

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My dick is so big it affects the tides.

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My dick is so big, King Kong tried to climb it.

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My dick is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of My Dick.

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My dick is so big, my wife uses it for a body pillow.

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My dick is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My Dick.

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My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

Random selection of big dick jokes

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My dick is so big; like the Louvre or Disneyworld; you really can’t see it all in one day…

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My dick is so big, I have to set up orange traffic cones when I take a piss outside.

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My dick is so big, I use it to smuggle illegal immigrants across the border.

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My dick is so big, when I was in a porno, they had to release it on a 4 disc DVD box set.

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My dick is so big, that when it’s Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it’s Central Mountain Time at my balls.

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My dick is so big that if it were a boat, there’d be no such thing as adequate scope for safe anchoring.

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My dick is so big, Columbus discovered it and thought it was India.

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My dick is so big, it’s wanted in nine states, and Canada.

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My dick is so big, it only plays arenas.

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My dick is so big, it has a spine.

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My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.

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My dick is so big it made a fortune in real estate before it was 30.

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My dick is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.

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My dick is so big, when I broke my leg, they didn’t put a cast on it, they just strapped it to my dick.

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My dick is so big that Hannibal tried to ride it across the Himalayas.

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My dick has an old rusty harpoon stuck in it.

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My dick is so big, it takes large prey items that may require weeks to move through its digestive tract.

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My dick is so big, the Indians in the hills sing songs about it.

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My dick is so big there are isolated tribes living on remote areas of it.

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My dick is so big, it will stubbornly drive around for hours-TOTALLY LOST-and never once stop to ask for directions.

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My dick is so big, it’s against the law to fuck me without protective headgear.

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My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.

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My dick is so big, it was a Varsity starter in all three sports since Freshman year!

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My dick is so big, it warps the space-dick continuum.

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My dick is so big it has its own two-party system. All the candidates suck.

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My dick is so big the Amazon detours around it.

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My dick is so big, every time I get hard I cause a solar eclipse.

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My dick is so big that i had to buy a big jacked up pickup truck just to carry my ego….

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My dick is so big, FedEx won’t insure it.

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My dick is so big, that it has its own dick. And even my dick’s dick is bigger than your dick.

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My dick is so big, that I look like its dick in front of it!

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My dick is so big that we’re all a part of it, and it’s all a part of us.

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My dick is so big, it wants a car when it turns 16.

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My dick is so big NASA still hasn’t fully mapped its surface.

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My dick is so big, I can sit on it.

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My dick is so big I have to establish a base camp before sex.

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My dick is so big you’d better just get the Cliff’s Notes version.

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My dick is so big I can fuck an elevator shaft.

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My dick is so big, there’s a sneaker named “Air My Dick

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My dick is so big, black holes fall into it.

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