Big Dick Jokes

A dirty humor archive of funny cock and penis jokes

Top 10 big dick jokes

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+22 rating, 68 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, Frodo carried the Ring to it.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+3 rating, 15 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+3 rating, 7 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, there was once a movie called Godzilla vs. My Dick.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+3 rating, 7 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I have to stand in the hall when I take a piss.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+3 rating, 5 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, my bed is equipped with airbags.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+2 rating, 2 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big it has a really good beach and several ok ones.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+2 rating, 2 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I can shoot for the Moon.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+1 rating, 7 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I have to bus in day laborers just to fidgit with my balls.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+1 rating, 3 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it seats six.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+1 rating, 3 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I’m already banging my next girlfriend’s best friend.

Random selection of big dick jokes

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big the Coast Guard recently installed a 10 million candlepower searchlight at the tip.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big it must signal with three long horn blasts before making sternway.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, for prom night I rented the Oscar Meyer Wiener Wagon instead of a limo.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, they use the bullet train to test my condoms.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big it can’t take the Panama Canal, but must sail all the way around the tip of South America.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, clowns climb out of it when I cum.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is the Walrus, koo koo ga joob.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, FedEx won’t insure it.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I have to set up orange traffic cones when I take a piss outside.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big I can only fly on cargo planes.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it won’t return Spielberg’s calls.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (-2 rating, 2 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, Austrailian Aboriginals revere it as their ‘New Uluru’.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big it causes eclipses.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick can be used as a flotation device in the highly unlikely event of a water landing.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I can braid it.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big it’s decided on a career in Law.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it has an agent. My dick’s people will call your people. Let’s have lunch with my dick.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big I have an overpass in my pants.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I could fuck a tuba.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it has its own gravity

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (-1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big it produces its own local weather.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it has an opening act.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, Hurricane Katrina gave me a blowjob.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick never has to audition for the part.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (-1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I have to check it as luggage when I fly.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, Michael Jackson wanted to use it as a water ride at Neverland ranch

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, if Hillary beats it in the primaries, she’ll likely win the Presidency.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I have to cook it breakfast in the mornings.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big that its flight is impossible without the aid of rising thermal updrafts.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big you can ski down it.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (0 rating, 2 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, Columbus discovered it and thought it was India.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big it has its own two-party system. All the candidates suck.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it lives next door.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (+1 rating, 1 votes)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second, and third.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big that Hannibal tried to ride it across the Himalayas.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big that we’re all a part of it, and it’s all a part of us.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it has its own seat in Congress.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

My dick is so big, it violates seventeen zoning laws.

Vote This Joke DownVote This Joke Up (No Ratings Yet)
Loading ... Loading ...

my dicks so big people think i’m second in line

Page 8 of 9«123456789»